So it has been a while.....

So it has been a while, like years.  If you are wondering what is happening in my life. Well this happened

Henry Robert Carter (5 Months Old)
November 7, 2012
9 pounds even 21 3/4 inches long

Which he looks a lot more like this now and Mattie hasn't changed at all since the last blog post. :)

We are getting ready for Mattie to be a flower girl in not one but two weddings in November. November is going to be crazy busy. We have 5 family birthdays  (two of which are my children) and two weddings (one being my brother) Other than that just everyday life and all sorts of fun that comes with having two sweet children.

The main reason I started my blog again....

I have been convicted lately about weight loss, well not so much weight loss as much as being healthy.  I recently joined Weight Watchers on-line and I am seeing results but I wanted an extra something to hold me accountable.  So I figured what better way than to put it out there for all to see. Let me start by saying I don't have all the answers but I do know that if you put out more than you put in you should be able to lose weight. Well that is what I thought,  I tried very hard this summer and lost a grand total of 5 pounds. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) when I was 21 and other than a couple of symptoms I really hadn't had a lot or trouble, that was until after one, Henry Carter was born.  Let's just say a lot of things happened after Henry was born and losing weight became ever harder.  I went and saw my doctor and was horrified at the number on the scale and after a very honest conversation with my doctor he suggested metformin, a drug used for people who are diabetic, but also insulin resistant like myself. I am writing and telling you this simply because I want to help and be helped.  Whether it is a woman trying hard to get pregnant or a woman struggling to lose weight I want to tell you what has worked and what hasn't worked for this girl with PCOS.  Please pray for me as I go on this journey that I will number one find time to workout and number two take the time to eat healthy.  I know, with the Lord's help I can do. Thanks for your time and any suggestions or help you could give I would greatly appreciate. 

Just a thought and a little catch up

So I realize it has been forever but as some of you may know I have dial-up internet in the great city of Autaugaville, and I really don't have much time to blog at school, so that kind of takes time away from the blog.  Not much is going on around here we are just working and enjoying every minute we can with this sweet little girl



Pretty much every photo has her tongue sticking out now

                                 
I wanted to share a little something I read the other day and what it meant to me.

God’s strong name is our help.”  Psalm 124:8

You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take, an eternal home no divorce can break. Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea. Every mistake you’ve made is nailed to the tree. You’re blood-bought and heaven-made. A child of God—forever saved. So be grateful, joyful—for isn’t it true? What you don’t have is much less than what you do.

How powerful is that there is nothing I can I can do to be separated from the Him.  The things I don't have are much less than what I do. I have all I will ever need in Jesus Chris.  It doesn't matter if my child has the greatest clothes, the most expensive toys, or a fancy bed to sleep in. What matters most is I teach her about her Heavenly Father that will be there for her when everyone else will turn away. It doesn't matter if I have a 3000 square foot brand new house or a two bedroom block house. It matters that I love my husband with all of my heart and serve God with all that I have wherever I live.  Really in the grand scheme of things that is all that matters.  I am truly blessed beyond belief and I just need to be reminded of that sometimes.

I hope you all have a great weekend.  I am super excited because I get to go spend the whole day, just me and my mom, going to Birmingham to see Les Miserables.  I am so excited I can hardly stand it.  I will miss Mattie terribly but I am sure she will be just fine with her Daddy.

More...

Anyone who has ever lost anyone close to them will understand this feeling.  The days after that someone passes away are tough.  You pick up the phone and go to call them and remember they aren't there, you think you see them in traffic or in a crowd of people and then you remember they are gone.  Then as time passes you don't do that near as much.  Now I am in no way saying that I don't miss my daddy anymore. I miss him still to this day but the pain of that hurt has over time become so much easier to deal with.

The thing is it is the unexpected things in life that creep up and get you and take you back to the day they left earth.  This happened to me recently.  I was at home with Mattie just me and her and basketball was on ( if you can call some of the NCAA tournament basketball but that is another blog entry).  Mattie has enjoyed basketball since birth.  She watches basketball  like she watches Elmo, she never looks away. I thought wouldn't Daddy think that was neat, a granddaughter who loves basketball. I became so sad at the fact that daddy wasn't here to see her. Well if you know anything about missing someone you know that it just kind of snowballs from there into what my family calls ugly crying. You think of all the big events they have missed from funerals to weddings to births. That is what I mean by the small things that get us.  I was prepared to miss my daddy when I got married.  I was prepared to miss him when I had Mattie. I have been prepared at other events to miss him. It is the little things like watching your child watch a basketball game, hearing a song on the radio, or maybe a certain scripture that take you back to that place of sadness that they are not there.

Basketball was always mine and my dads thing.  I wasn't very good at it but I understood the game. My dad along with Coach Windle coached me from 7th-12th grade and I couldn't think of two better men to learn from.  They took a totally different approach but they were wonderful with us girls and they loved us dearly and we always knew that. I sat there and watched Mattie just staring at the TV and I couldn't help but think Daddy was smiling down thinking of how much fun we had in that gym at Morgan Academy so long ago. I don't want to get into the spirituality of all of that and if it is even possible but sometimes just thinking about that gives me comfort in the hardest times.  The morning after all of this happened  Kyle didn't ride to work with me, so that means I had total control of the radio.  Well I was listening to Andrew Peterson again, he really is that good, and here is the song that was playing.


More by Andrew Peterson

This is not the end here at this grave
This is just a hole that someone made
Every hole was made to fill
And every heart can feel it still--
Our nature hates a vacuum

This is not the hardest part of all
This is just the seed that has to fall
All our lives we till the ground
Until we lay our sorrows down
And watch the sky for rain

There is more
More than all this pain
More than all the falling down
And the getting up again
There is more
More than we can see
From our tiny vantage point
In this vast eternity
There is more

A thing resounds when it rings true
Ringing all the bells inside of you
Like a golden sky on a summer eve
Your heart is tugging at your sleeve
And you cannot say why
There must be more

There is more
More than we can stand
Standing in the glory
Of a love that never ends
There is more
More than we can guess
More and more, forever more
And not a second less

There is more than what the naked eye can see
Clothing all our days with mystery
Watching over everything
Wilder than our wildest dreams
Could ever dream to be

You know there is so much more than that pain.  There are so many good things that have come from my dads death.  I would rather not get into it for everyone to read but I just encourage you to think about all the good that can come from something tragic. I do know that there are days that are so hard you don't think you can go on, just ask a girl who cried like a crazy woman over the little girl below watching a basketball game.



Mattie waiting to take her picture for the directory at church

It didn't take long to go to this

When it was her turn to have her picture this is the face she made

I could never and why do you?

So many people have told me since I married Kyle that I could never live as far out as you live or why do you live all the way out in the country.  Well there are some definite pros and cons. Some of the pros are



This is one of my side yards

                                             

This is my other side yard



This is my front yard

                                     
                                                               

 These are the only things that watch you when you decide to walk/run after a long time of not walk/running.



We can grow all of our own vegetables

                                                    



   and we have a yard to go outside to anytime the weather permits



                  

I guess I can only think of one con off the top of my head and that is it takes a little while to get to town and the can be tough especially when gas is well over $3.00 a gallon.  I don't really have any cute photos to show the cons except for this:



  Mattie can drive wherever she wants in a matter of minutes, Kyle and I on the other hand can not.



I realize for some the wide open spaces would drive them crazy but I on the other hand love it.  I hope you all have a blessed Monday and I need to blog about something I have had on my mind lately maybe later today or tomorrow.  Until then.....

                           



God comes through once again...

This past weekend I got my feelings hurt pretty badly.  It doesn't happen very often but I did.  It ended up not being a big deal and I shouldn't have gotten near as upset as I allowed myself to be. Anyway I decided to take off to the great city of Selma, Alabama and see my mom.  I don't know if you all have a mother like mine, well Paul and Katie do. My mom has never been one to tell you what you wanted to hear but always what you needed to hear and always in a loving manner.  As I was leaving her house I ask God to give me a word, a song, a bit of scripture something to help me get over this hurt I was feeling. I got in the car and before we got to the end of the road Mattie was asleep and  my CD on shuffle played the following song

 It's so easy to cash in these chips on my shoulder
So easy to loose this old tongue like a tiger
It's easy to let all this bitterness smolder
Just to hide it away like a cigarette lighter

It's easy to curse and to hurt and to hinder
It's easy to not have the heart to remember
That I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God

I've got voices that scream in my head like a siren
Fears that I feel in the night when I sleep
Stupid choices I made when I played in the mire
Like a kid in the mud on some dirty blind street
I swore on the Bible to not tell a lie
But I've lied and lied
And I crossed my heart and I hoped to die
And I've died and died

But if it's true that you gathered my sin in Your hand
And You cast it as far as the east from the west
If it's true that You put on the flesh of a man
And You walked in my shoes through the shadow of death

If it's true that You dwell in the halls of my heart
Then I'm not just a fool with a fancy guitar
No, I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God

I thought about that and must have played that song 7 times on the way home.  It is so much easier to be ugly back but I chose not to and I am glad I didn't because it really wasn't a big deal at all and how foolish would I have looked.  Also it is hard to remember sometimes that we are priest for God, all of us no matter what our job, just a thought.  The song is Fool with a Fancy Guitar by Andrew Peterson and I think he is fabulous. Anyway I hope you all have a great day.

What If.....

Last night I was in the kitchen cooking supper and it was a little later than usually for Mattie's supper time.  She proceeded to her seat and tried to crawl up.  I said Mattie supper isn't ready just yet so you will have to wait. She sat on the floor and said what sounds like amen and clapped her hands, I don't know why she claps after we pray but she does. Anyway I thought, how funny, she thinks if she says the blessing she will get to eat.

Then I thought what if no one ever taught her to pray. What if no one ever prayed with me. What if daddy didn't die and what if, what if, what if, the list can go on and on and on you get what I am saying here.  I thought back to my thought for the day the other day. It said:

“We do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us.” Romans 8:26

You know, we really don’t know what to pray for, do we? What if God had answered every prayer that you ever prayed? Just think who you’d be married to. Just think where you’d be living. Just think what you’d be doing.
God loves us so much that sometimes he gives us what we need and not what we ask.

I am amazed more and more everyday at how much God loves me. I heard this song last weekend on our radio station that we get with Dish network.  Anyway it just kind of sums it up I think.  Paul Coleman sings it and I love it

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valley's and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don't question is you
You really love me like you say you do
You really love me like you say you do
Hold me
Hold me

I've questioned significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
Well I've questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is your love remains

And this is just because I love these pictures of Mattie and I think she is cute.

She is putting together her outfit here. 

After "she got it like she liked it"

Mattie's face when you tell her "I want a kiss" 

Have a great rest of the day and good weekend and for all my teacher friends a great spring break.

Leslie





One of those days

I am not one to dwell on days that are bad but let me just say I have never been more ready for this weekend.  We have registration, planning for reading round-up, book fair, and an art night that I am a part of, all going on within the next 15 days.  Can anyone else say stressed. I am super excited though because I get to spend tomorrow with Mattie and Natalie Reese Carter.  YEAH!!! I am so glad Blake, Amanda, Shay, Denise, and the older girls are going. So ready for some fun.  Have a great weekend.

Leslie